Persona 3 Hidden Bloopers
by BlueDragonFic
Summary: Some funny things I think up of while playing/ watching my brother play Persona 3! Guaranteed laughs! Updates will be slow! Read bottom of my profile for reason why.
1. Intrepid Knight the Drunkard!

This is my first Shin Megami Tensei Persona fic! I came up with this while my bro was playing Persona 3 (he recently got it on his birthday!) and this came up when he was having a hard time with the Intrepid Knight. Hope you all find this as funny as me and my bro did!

* * *

Minato and his current party, Yukari, Akihiko, and Misturu, just started the mid boss fight with the Intrepid Knight when they noticed something wrong.

Fuuka: Ummm… I have no comment.

The Shadow was drunk… Well, the knight on the horse was at least.

Intrepid Knight: Hey sexy, how long you've been here?

Note, he said this to Minato! Minato stared at the Shadow dumbfounded as the others stifled their laughter. Taking out his Evoker, Minato summoned his assigned Persona; Orpheus. That's when things got even stranger.

Intrepid Knight: Hey buddy, wanna drink?  
Orpheus: Are thou drunk?  
Intrepid Knight: Cut the "thou" crap, it's the 21st century.  
Orpheus: Are thou looking for trouble?  
Intrepid Knight: "Are thou looking for trouble?" –Hic!- Go shove your "thou" crap up your robotic ass, headless horseman wannabe!

The horse sighed at its rider's current incompetence.

Intrepid Knight: -Hic!- Didn't I see you at that bar?  
Orpheus: W-What bar?

The four humans stared at the harpist as Orpheus started getting nervous.

Intrepid Knight: Yeah, you were the one dancing on tables with those smelly hippies!  
Orpheus: Those weren't hippies!

The persona shut his trap as soon as he said those words. Everyone started whispering amongst themselves as the Shadow continued.

Intrepid Knight: You were the one with Apsaras! Whatever happened to Eurydos, or Eucalyptus, or whatever her name is?!

Then, Polydeuces appeared and excitedly shouted…

Polydeuces: I knew it! I knew you were cheating on Eurydice, you player!  
Orpheus: Well, I saw you with Nekomata, you bestiality lover!  
Polydeuces: Cat-girls are legal!  
Orpheus: You're just saying that cuz you got her pregnant!

* * *

The rest is up to your interpretation. The moment I thought of this I couldn't stop laughing for five minutes straight! I hope you all enjoyed this little piece of humor!


	2. Ghettomaru the Dog?

I'm back with another chapter! This one was inspired when me and my bro started talking about Koromaru. Here's the weird workings of the section of my brain called 'My Sense of Humor"!

* * *

Junpei, Fuuka, Aigis, and Mitsuru are sitting on the couches in the first floor dorm while Koromaru sits on his usual spot. Yukari walks into the dorm and is greeted by Koromaru, who barks and runs up to her.

Yukari: Hi, Koro-chan!  
Koromaru: Yo, feed me bitch!

Everyone stops what their doing and stares at the dog.

Fuuka: Did Koro-chan just talk?  
Koromaru: I said feed me! But not you, your cooking tastes like shit! It's not even good enough for cockroaches!

Fuuka ran out crying from the dog's harsh words as Junpei got up and angrily glared at the dog.

Junpei: Why'd you have to make her cry?! I bet you can't even cook at least half as good as her (Now that's awful cooking)!  
Koromaru: Earth to dumbass, no opposable thumbs! Me cooking is a stupid idea, as stupid as you! I should know, I've eaten your homework and they tasted like failure!

Junpei was really getting mad. He was about to kick the akita when Koromaru bit his... where it hurts the most.

Junpei: AAAAAAAA!!! Mad dog! Get him off me!

Everyone else immediately tries to pry Koromaru to let go as stifled laughter can be heard in a corner. Voice changer in one hand and a walkie talkie in the other, exactly like the one hidden in Koromaru's Evoker collar, Minato thinks about how surprised Akihiko will be when he gets the news that Minato won the bet.

Minato: Get everyone to believe Koromaru talked. Easy.

* * *

When I can remember this other idea I had I'll put it up as chapter 3, until then, hope this is funny enough for everyone!


	3. 8 Inches, Student Mishap, and Personamon

I decided to do a chapter since I found some time in my busy life. Instead of one blooper, I give you three mini-bloopers! Enjoy this Persona comedy!

* * *

---Blooper #1---

Mitsuru: I'm telling you, it won't snow!

Akihiko: The forecast said there would be 8 inches of snow!

Minato stayed out of the two's quarrel. He just minded his business while they tried to predict the weather. The next day, Ikutsuki arrived at the dorm, so everyone was gathered of course, when Mitsuru asked…

Mitsuru: Ikutsuki, did it snow?

Ikutsuki: No, there was no snow. Why do ask?

Mitsuru: So, Akihiko, where's my 8 inches?

Akihiko stared at Mitsuru with a very visible blush before Mitsuru blushed too. They both immediately ran out of the room while everyone laughed.

Minato: Thank god I didn't tell them to stop fighting yesterday, this is hilarious!

---Blooper #2---

Minato was getting sleepy, very sleepy. He came back from Tartarus the night before and was still exhausted. He was just about to fall asleep in class while his teacher mentioned something about sugar in semen when…

Female Student: Then why is it so salty?

Minato turned to the student, and Junpei even woke up. The entire class turned to the girl as the teacher answered.

Teacher: Because the taste buds for sweet are at the tip of the tongue, not the back of the throat!

---Blooper #3---

[Cue Wild Pokémon Battle Music]

A Tartarus remix of the wild Pokémon battle screen comes up with a Minato back sprite and a…

_Wild REAPER appeared!_

_Go ALICE!_

_ALICE uses Die for Me!!_

_ALICE's attack missed!_

_Wild REAPER used Bufudyne!_

_Critical Hit!_

_ALICE fainted!_

_Go THANATOS!_

_THANATOS uses Megidola!_

_Wild REAPER uses Maragidyne!_

_THANATOS isn't going to stick around and be some REAPER's bitch!_

Oh, for the love of-… _Go CERBERUS!_

Fuuka: *Gasp* You're cheating!

_CERBERUS uses Gr347 534l!_

…

Minato: Crap! My game froze!

* * *

My favorite's the third one! You'll best understand the joke if you've/heard of others trying the debug Cerberus! Hope you enjoyed this chapter in all of its three in one splendor!


	4. Fohjedu ijohj ed shusb!

It's another chapter of Persona 3 Hidden Bloopers! This one has a secret bonus funny in the end, but you'll have to decode it. So find something to write/type what you translate and I'm sure some people might find something familiar with it…

* * *

The battle screen starts up as normal; the three shadows, a Brave Wheel, an Elegant Mother, and a Killer Drive (I've never seen these shadows together during a fight but this is a fan fic) look to their foes' leader… and they stared dumbfounded.

Minato, whose eyes seemed very red, pointed his Evoker at the shadows and pulled the trigger multiple times while shouting "Bang" each time. Turning away, the shadows look to Junpei. He was swinging his sword in a circle while singing the scatting part of Loituma. The shadows look away as Junpei screams in pain. Yukari was singing... slurring, a familiar song.

Yukari: On the first day of Drugmas my drug friend gave to me, some dust to drive me crazy PCP!

The shadows turn to the last, and perhaps the most surprising, of the four. Koromaru was actually talking!

Koromaru?: Do what you want cause a pirate is free, you are a pirate! Yar har fiddle di dee, being a pirate is alright to be, do what you want cause a pirate is free, you are a pi- AAAAARRRRGH! Bad trip, BAD TRIP!

The shadows couldn't take it anymore and ran away.

Fuuka: NIARB RUOY TAE LL'I! NATAS LIAH!

Back at the dorm…

Ikutsuki: Damn, they found my hidden stash of crack!

Shinjiro: … So that's why your jokes suck balls.

* * *

This one was really random… right? Well, here's that secret bonus!

**_Takaya_ homelot xaj harj je xo seict jisb xaj end tasb!**

Here's how to translate it (The italicized word is the only one you don't translate):

A-U

B-R

C-S

D-T

E-O

F-V

G-W

H-X

I-A

J-Z

K-B

L-C

M-M

N-D

O-E

P-F

Q-G

R-H

S-J

T-K

U-I

V-L

W-N

X-P

Y-Y

Z-Q

Hope this gets at least a chuckle!


	5. Fortune's fortunate misfortune

I'm kinda worried that the last chapter wasn't all that funny, so I decided to make this chapter which is based on a hilarious joke I found while web surfing. Hope you all enjoy.

* * *

The great shadow Fortune thought that its fortune had run out, so it climbed to the very top floor of Tartarus and jumped; intent on committing suicide. However, its fall was interrupted by a fatal gunshot by Aigis. An inspection proved that had Fortune's fall not been interrupted it would have landed on an eagle shadow and still been alive (said shadow did not disclose what kind of eagle shadow it was and instead attacked).

You're probably thinking, 1) this is homicide as Aigis killed Fortune who could have been saved by an eagle shadow, and 2) How could one shot kill a great shadow.

Further inspection shows that Aigis had pointed her guns at her party after being charmed, and a great shadow had predicted this. So it swapped Aigis' usual ammo with a one-hit kill kind of ammo (of unknown name and origin).

Now you're probably thinking, the homicide falls to the great shadow that swapped Aigis' ammo and unknowingly committed friendly fire.

Even further investigation shows that the same great shadow that switched Aigis' ammo climbed to the top of Tartarus, jumped off, and was shot to death on its way down…

The investigation concludes that this was a suicide.

* * *

Hope this brought a smile on every readers' faces! The first time I read this joke it was so hilarious I had to share it, but I decided to make it Persona style before doing so! This concludes chapter 5 (And I apologize for how short it was)!


	6. The 3 in 1 Special Chapter!

I'm back! This one just HAD to be put up! I thank my bro for encouraging me to put this up on the site! I hope you all enjoy!** Warning: This chapter contains excessie swearing, gore, and (un)death.**

**

* * *

**

Minato had just entered the Velvet Room when Igor had told him.

Igor: It appears I made a mistake when I counted all of your potential personas. I overlooked one. I'll just bring it out for you if you'd like.  
Minato (thoughts): Sweet! A free persona!

Pulling out the persona, Igor almost had nothing to say about what he saw.

Igor: To be truthful, I had no idea what persona this one is; most likely this one's new… Enjoy your new hangman… Saddam!

* * *

It's the 'final' fight with the great shadow Hangman. Minato, Yukari, Junpei, and Koromaru are just a few hits away from defeating the great shadow. Minato slashes Hangman, but it still lives! Junpei slashes it, and even Koromaru, but it still refuses to go down. Turning to Junpei, Hangman prepares a God's Hand… but with a twist.

Junpei: WATASHI NA SHINNEN! SHINNENZU!  
Hangman: FAAAALCON, PAAAAAAAWWWNCH!

Too bad for Hangman that Minato had used an Attack Mirror for his entire party…

Minato: YES!

* * *

Minato, Yukari, Akihiko, and Ken ventured forth through Tartarus' fifth block, Harabah, when Akihiko asked Yukari…

Akihiko: You've been very quiet lately, Yukari. Is something on your mind?  
Yukari: I was just wondering… how come no one thought of using a Recarm skill to bring back Shinji?  
Minato: …!  
Ken: That's a good point! Why not try it Yukari!

Minato slowly backed away before running from the party as Yukari used Samarecarm to bring back Shinji… but things didn't go out as planned.

Akihiko: OH SHIT! He's a fucking zombie!  
Ken: It's Resident Evil!  
Yukari: Crap! This can't be good!  
Zombie Shinji: Braaains!  
Yukari: … Minato! Where's Minato!

Minato watched from a corner as his team stepped back to a dead end as Zombie Shinji stalked towards them.

Akihiko: N-Now what?!  
Yukari: I-I don't know!  
Ken: I think I pissed myself!...

Even the zombie stepped away from the embarrassed elementary school kid. From the corner; Orpheus, Samael, and Melchizedek whispered amongst themselves.

Melchizedek: Nobody told Isis about Samarecarm's 'glitch', huh?  
Orpheus: Judging… no.  
Samael: Haha! Those three are zombie food. Let's watch!  
Melchizedek: You sick dickhead, we can't let them die!  
Samael: And why not?! This is hilarious! Resident Shinjiro, hahaha!  
Orpheus: What now, Minato?...

Orpheus looks to Minato, only to see said human tightly holding on to the persona's leg, while shivering like a little chicken baby, as a bloody Zombie Shinjiro, and Zombie Castor, approached the four.

Minato and his personas: … OH FU-!...

So, what was this 'glitch' that Melchizedek mentioned? There's a reason why Recarm skills are for unconscious allies only. It is now required that all personas and persona users learn this warning from memory.

The remaining characters and their personas: Never, EVER, use Recarm skills on dead people… Or else you'll be one undead motherfucker!...  
Zombies Minato, Yukari, Akihiko, Ken, Shinji, Orpheus, Samael, Melchizedek and Castor: BRAAAAAINS!

We now leave the dorm as blood curdling screams erupt and all hell breaks loose…

* * *

The New Hangman: This joke should be easy to recognize but here's a hint: Hussein.

Captain Hangman: This is self explanatory…

Resident Shinjiro: This idea's been in my mind for a while but I never got around to typing it. I give all credit for the idea of Resident Shinjiro to my brother, ShadowMarkX007! (Of fictionpress . com)

This has been another Persona 3 Hidden Bloopers! Chapter 7 coming whenever a good idea pops up!


	7. Death Screws Up, Too!

I decided that I had the balls (not literally though) to poke fun at deaths in the game, more specifically, Chidori's. In this chapter, Junpei tries to show how saddened he is about Chidori's death… but it doesn't go out as expected. It's supposed to focus on the part when Junpei still has Chidori in his arms. Enjoy the chapter!

* * *

After Chidori says her final words, Junpei sadly yells…

Junpei: NOOOOOOOOOO!  
Ken: …Uhh, Darth Junpei?

(Cut! Take 2)

Junpei: I should've been the one to fill your dark soul with LIIIIGHT!  
Takaya: … What the hell was that?!  
Jin: Ugh, not only was it the wrong line, your voice even cracked!

(Cut! Take 3! [Bonus!])

Hermes transmogrifies into Tresmigistus. Jin charges forward but then…

Jin: WHAT THE FU-!  
Tresmigistus: I'm a firin' ma lazor! BWAAAAAAAH!  
Takaya and Jin: Oh SHI-!!!

(Cut! Take 4!)

As Junpei is saddened by Chidori's sacrifice, Minato whispers something to Ken. Then, Ken pointed to Junpei and yelled…

Ken: Hey, this asshole ain't one of us! He said he'll fuck a sheep!  
Yukari: Ken! This is not the time to quote "Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back"!  
Takaya: So, you like to quote movies?...

Takaya grabs Ken and throws him into the Iwatodai train track (don't ask how he got there that quickly).

Takaya: Oh, (turns to Minato) I saw you whispering to Ken…  
Minato: Aww CRAP!

(Cut! Take 5!)

Junpei: No! This isn't happening! There's no reason for me to go on! What… WHAT AM I FIGHTING FOOOOOOR!  
Chidori: …That was terrible…  
Junpei: O.O

* * *

I hope this brings a smile to every reader's face! The last one is most likely my favorite! This has been chapter 7; you may be you, but I'm Stacey Ster- I mean, BlueDragonFic!


	8. Not Another Chapter!

This chapter is another 3 in 1 special, hope you all like! My bro thought of all three of the spoofs. There are perks to having a brother born in the Chinese year of the monkey (I'm just the loyal dog).

* * *

---Takaya Leaves The Stove On---

The group arrives at the bridge to see only Takaya with his Persona, Hypnos. Looking around, they see no one else. They practically did a double take when they heard…

Hypnos: *Singing a part of Pika Pika Masai Chu*

Takaya: I said: "What what, in the butt" I said: "What what, in the butt" I said: "What what, in the butt" I said: "What what, in the butt"

You wanna do it in my butt, in my butt? You wanna do it in my butt, in my butt? You wanna do it in my butt, in my butt? Let's do it in the butt, OKAY!

The SEES group's faces only turned more shocked when Koromaru answered Takaya's question…

---Grand Theft Junpei---

Junpei ran ahead of the group to reach Chidori first after Fuuka detected her. While running, he sees a shadow driving a car (in the Dark Hour?). He stops the car, drags out the shadow, a lowly Maya, and stabs the motherf***er.

He starts driving the car, even though he doesn't know how to drive. He runs over trash cans, transmogrified people's coffins, and even shadows (oh, I think I saw an Snake!). On the top screen there are two yellow stars.

Junpei: I wonder what's on the radio.

He turns on the radio and cringes when he hears…

Radio: I'm a Barbie girl, in a Barbie world! Wrapped in plastic, it's fantastic!

Junpei stops the car and grabs a nearby crowbar floating in a blue orb of light and bashes the radio before bashing a shadow that looked oddly like a Persian warrior and stole its sub machine guns. Another star appears on the screen.

He rips his shirt off and removes his jacket revealing a tattoo that reads "San Andreas" and blasts a hell of a lot of shadows with the guns. All five stars appear on the screen.

Chidori: Enough of this gratuitous video game violence, Junpei!

Junpei: …

Takaya: Why do I feel like this scene needs a bunch of gay Spartans to be perfect?

---Ryoji's Bringing Sexy Back---

Ryoji: I'm bringing sexy back.

Minato: Yeah

Ryoji: Them other boys don't know how to act.

Junpei: Yeah

Ryoji: I think it's special what's behind your back.

Akihiko: Yeah

Ryoji: So turn around and I'll pick up the slack.

Minato: Take 'em to the bridge!

Ryoji: Dirty babe! You see these shackles baby I'm your slave. I'll let your whip me if I misbehave. It's just that no one makes me feel this way.

Junpei: Take 'em to the chorus!

Ryoji: Come here girl…

Ryoji is then glomped by a mob of girls who heard him singing.

Ryoji: Can't… breathe…

--- Takaya Leaves The Stove On Bonus!---

Takaya: … Let's do it in the butt, OKAY!

The SEES group's faces only turned more shocked when Shinjiro, who's alive, stomps to Takaya with a bloody ax and holding Jin's severed head!

Shinjiro: You don't want to do it in my butt.

And then he slashes Takaya's head off. Fuuka and Yukari faint from the sheer gruesomeness, everyone else but one pukes from the sight, while…

Junpei: AWESOME!

* * *

The ending part of Takaya Leaves The Stove On (not the bonus) was actually thought up by me, since my brother refuses to take credit on that part (I must have been really sugar high…). This has been another Persona 3 hidden bloopers chapter! You may be you, but Ryoji's a glomp magnet!


	9. Where There's Smoke, They Pinch Back

This is no trick of the eyes, it's Chapter 9! This chapter is dedicated to a little something I like to watch on Youtube; Youtube Poop! Specifically if you like the works of… well, you'll see which Youtube Pooper (hint: he was already "mentioned" in the last chapter).

* * *

---Chocolate Salty Balls---

In the Shirakawa Boulevard, SEES assembles outside as a self centered Great Shadow stared in the mirror. Hierophant thought it had all the privacy it wanted and decided to sing…

Meanwhile, Minato, Yukari, Mitsuru, and Akihiko make their way to Hierophant.

Mitsuru: Nice of Fuuka to tell us which room the Great Shadow's in.  
Akihiko: I hope that Great Shadow made a last will.

The group busted through Hierophant's door and…

Minato: Hey guys, look!  
Hierophant: Say everybody have you seen my balls, they're big and salty and brown! If you ever need a quick pick-me-up, just stick my balls in your mouth! Ohh, just suck on my chocolate salty balls, stick 'em in your mouth and suck 'em! Suck on my chocolate salty balls, they're packed full of vitamins and good for you! So suck on my balls!

The group stood there with disturbed looks on their faces as an embarrassed Hierophant finally realized he wasn't alone.

Hierophant: Uhh, it's not what you think!

---Virtual Go Fish---

Minato walked into a new game booth in the arcade. Apparently, it's Virtual Go Fish with a Mario program. A microphone is used to tell which card you want to take or when to tell the program to go fish. He started the game and saw the Mario program and everything set up. Things were going normally, but the designers forgot about a flaw in the program…

Minato: Go fish.  
Mario: Oh, you got to be f&#*ing with me!

Minato awoke from his half asleep state when he heard that.

Mario: Mario's got to pass gas.

He decided to see if he could get the program to continue the game.

Minato: Mario, go fish!  
Mario: You go to hell!

Minato was really getting annoyed; and over a stupid game program in an arcade!

Mario: You suck!

Minato was getting close to pulling out his Evoker, but he's out in public.

Mario: Uh-oh, Mario's got to pass gas again! We're both f&#*ed!  
Minato: Go fish!  
Mario: I've a got a take a leak!

Then it looked like the Mario program "took a leak" towards the screen!

Mario: Look like Mario leak on you! That's-a goin' online!

Minato's had enough of this! The next day, the news reported a giant eight headed snake that destroyed the arcade. A high school junior was seen with the snake…

---Junpei Gets a Job at a New Iwatodai Station Restaurant---

Cashier: PS3? You want it?  
Junpei: Hell yeah!  
Cashier: It's yours, as long as you have enough ru- I mean yen!  
Junpei: Of course not!  
Cashier: Then you're a little piece of s^*%!

Junpei returned to the dorm and told his problem to Minato and Yukari.

Junpei: I can't go online without a PS3.  
Minato: Ma boi! This Wii's what all true warriors strive for!... I mean-!... Don't you have a Wii?  
Junpei: But I can't use the controller, remember. Koro-chan chewed it to bits. I need a PS3.  
Yukari: Get a job!

Junpei thought for a moment…

Manager: Welcome to Minchiten! May I take your order?  
Junpei: No, I need a job.  
Manager: Okay, you're hired!  
Junpei: Great!

Akihiko walks into the restaurant and notices Junpei.

Akihiko: So you did get a job. I thought Minato was joking.

Ignoring that comment…

Junpei: What do you want, senpai?  
Akihiko: Can I have some ramen?  
Manager: There is no ramen.  
Akihiko: What! To hell with this! I'm going to Shinji's diner!

He walks out and Junpei sees that Shinji did in fact work at a diner right next door! The next customer… was Light Yagami from Death Note?

Light: I'll take a potato chip.  
Manager: There are no potato chips.  
Light: Damn it!

Light then leaves to go to the Shinji's diner. The next customer… Leonidus and his Spartan army?

Junpei: …What would you like to order…  
Leonidus: Slavery and death!  
Junpei and Manager: Dude, where'd the hell you come from!  
Leonidus: This. Is. SPARTA!!!  
Junpei: This is Japan.

The Spartans look out the window and see a sign on Shinji's diner that read "Meat Lover's Special Today".

Leonidus: Tonight, we dine in hell!

The Spartans then surge out of the restaurant. The next customer… Dante from Devil May Cry! (Should've seen this one coming)

Dante: I'll take a strawberry sundae.  
Junpei: This isn't a kiddy bar.  
Dante: Then I'll take a pizza. Make it large, extra cheese, hold the olives.  
Manager: We don't serve pizza.  
Dante: WHAT THE FU-!

Dante goes Devil Trigger and was about to kill the two when Minato burst through the doors and exclaimed.

Minato: Dude! They're serving free pizza and strawberry sundaes at the diner next door!  
Dante: Now that's what I'm talking about!

He reverts to normal and leaves the restaurant. The next customer… Captain Falcon!

Junpei: This is getting really weird. So, what do you want?  
Captain Falcon: Show me your moves!  
Junpei: What?  
Captain Falcon: Come on!  
Junpei: Do want something?  
Captain Falcon: Yes!  
Junpei: What is it?  
Captain Falcon: Show me your moves!  
Junpei: Oh my god…

Junpei slams his head on the counter and suggests…

Junpei: Hey, do you want to go to the diner over there?  
Captain Falcon: Yes!

Captain Falcon stands there for about a minute before Junpei asks.

Junpei: Well, are you going?  
Captain Falcon: Show me your moves!  
Junpei: Will you get the hell out of here you steroid overdosing, Chuck Norris wannabe, gay motherf&#*er!  
Captain Falcon: Falcon… PAAAAAWNCH!

The next day, the restaurant closed down due to the joint burning up and exploding! Junpei's in the hospital and the manager was found dead, as a pile of smoldering ash.

Captain Falcon: Yes!

---Bonus! Ring King Persona Edition---

Minato and Akihiko were the only ones left standing after Yukari and Mitsuru were knocked out by the two Gigas shadows they were currently fighting. Akihiko was about to pull out his Evoker when a DING sounded out.

Akihiko: What is this, a boxing match!

The Gigas apparently thought so as they went to their own "corners". The two guys shrugged and took their own corners as four midget Gigas came out of hiding.

Akihiko: How come we didn't see those shrimps before the fight?  
Minato: I don't know. Why are they coming this way?  
Akihiko: What's this $&#*#$ doing!

You know in the game Ring King when the boxers go to the corners, with those smaller guys… Apparently boxing isn't about "eye of the tiger"; it's about the "one eyed monster"!

* * *

This is probably my longest chapter! Also, here's a video I found of someone beating Nyx Avatar with his only Persona being a Pixie he got out of card shuffle! Here's the link (remember to remove the spaces!): youtube . com/watch?v=RnOt4aN2uyc&fmt=18


	10. The Humor Of Evil

Yeah, I'm back! And I brought more bloopers for everyone! Hope these are funny too! Oh, and about last chapter; if anyone followed that link, I'm sorry. If it makes you feel any better, shortly after submitting the chapter I got Rick Rolled myself… On to the chapter!

* * *

**Giving A Whole New Meaning To Handjob**

At the entrance to Tartarus, Minato picked out his team members; he chose Yukari, Aegis, and Koromaru. But before he left to venture into Tartarus he went up to Akihiko and gave him Evil Gloves.

Akihiko: These look pretty badass. Where'd you get them?

Minato took out his Evoker and summoned… Mara! Akihiko stared with utter horror in his face since he already put on the gloves. He immediately shook off the gloves as everyone laughed at him.

Akihiko: Ugh, that's not funny!

Junpei: Now that's a handjob!

**Satan: You Can't Take Him Anywhere...**

Minato and Aigis were walking back to the dorm together when Aigis decided to check the inside of the shrine.

Aigis: Can we see the shrine?

Minato gave a nod and Aegis entered first. The newest priest gave a friendly smile… until Minato tried to walk in. He started going all spastic and fell to the floor and convulsed like if he were having a seizure! The priest immediately ran up to Minato and started splashing holy water. You're probably asking, what's going on? This should answer your question!

Satan: AAAHH! Make him stop! MAKE HIM STOP! 'AV MERCY!

**Beelzeboss: Persona 3 Style**

Minato decided to train in Tartarus by himself, and he was doing pretty well. He was making every shadow in the Adamah block his bitch! He was really showing off his new Lucifer's blade. He was about to take out Satan when Orpheus, who's lyre was replaced with an electric guitar version of his usual instrument, came out instead.

Orpheus: I have a bad feeling about taking out Satan with that blade in your hand.

Minato: You're just acting paranoid. (And where'd all that "though" crap go…)

Minato summoned Satan, and was greeted by Satan's evil laughter. He noticed that Satan was missing a tooth and that's when his Lucifer's Blade levitated to fit as Satan's missing fang.

(NOTE: If you haven't seen Tenacious D's Beelzeboss, here ya go! Remember to remove the spaces! http://www . youtube . com/watch?v=l7hQIBbd3eY&fmt=18

Satan: I am complete!

Minato and Orpheus: Fuuuuuuuuuuuuck!

Satan: yes you are fucked, shit out of luck  
now I'm complete and my cock you will suck  
This world will be mine and you're first in line  
you brought me the blade and now you shall both die!

Orpheus: Wait! Wait! Wait!  
you motherfucker  
we challenge you to a rock off!  
Give us one chance to rock your socks off!

Satan: Fuck, fuck, fuck  
the Persona code prevents me  
from declining a rock off challenge  
what are your terms? What is the catch?

Orpheus: If we win, you must take your sorry ass back to hell  
and also you will have to pay our rent

Satan: And what if "I" win?

Orpheus: then you can take Minato back to hell...

Minato: What?!

Orpheus: trust me Minato; it's the only way,

Minato: What are you talking about?!

Orpheus: to be your little bitch.

Satan: Fine! Let the rock off begin! Ha ha  
I'm the devil I love metal!  
Check this riff it's fucking tasty  
I'm the devil I can do what I want,  
whatever I got I'm gonna flaunt,  
there's never been a rock off that I've ever lost  
I cant wait to take Minato back to hell  
I'm gonna fill him with my hot demon gel  
I'll make him squeal like my scarlet pimpernel

Orpheus: No!  
c'mon Minato let's fight his music with our music

Minato: there's just no way that we can win,  
that was a masterpiece.

Orpheus: listen to me

Minato: he rocks too hard because he's not a mortal man

Orpheus: goddamn-it Minato,  
he gonna make you his sex slave,  
you're gonna gargle mayonnaise

Minato: no

Orpheus: unless we bust a massive monster mama-jam.  
dude, we've been through so much shit,

(Orpheus: Like those Strega assholes?)

(Minato: Stick to the script!)

Minato and Orpheus: now its time to blow this fucker down!

Orpheus: C'mon Minato now it's time to blow doors down

Minato: I hear you Orpheus now it's time to blow doors down

Orpheus: Light up the stage cause its time for a showdown

Minato: We'll bend you over then we'll take you to Brown Town

Minato and Orpheus: Now we've got to blow this fucker down

Minato: He's gonna rape me if we do not blow doors down

Orpheus: C'mon Minato cause it's time to blow doors down

Minato: Oh we'll piledrive ya, it's time for the smackdown

Orpheus: Hey anti-christ-er, Beelzeboss,

(Beelzebub: Don't relate me with that gay asshole, Satan!)

Orpheus: we know your weakness our rocket-sauce  
we rock the casbah, and blow your mind  
we will defeat you, for all mankind  
you hold the scepter,  
we hold the key  
you are the devil,  
we are the D!

(Minato: Tenacious D?)

(Orpheus: Who else?)

(Minato: No we're not.)

(Orpheus: Whatever…)

Satan: You guys are fuckin' lame. Come on Minato, You're coming with me.  
Taste my lightning fuckers!

Orpheus: NO!

Orpheus springs into action and reflects the lightning back to Satan with his guitar and knocks off a claw.

Satan: Ow! Fuck!  
My fuckin' claw!  
oh no!

Orpheus: From whence you came you shall remain,  
until you are complete again

A pit to hell formed behind Satan and started sucking him in.

Satan: No! Fuck you Minato and Fuck you Orpheus!  
I'll get you motherfuckers!

Minato and Orpheus breathed a sigh of relief, until they're forgotten spectator attacked!

Reaper: Megidolaon, bitches!

* * *

Looks like things didn't go out so well for Minato and Orpheus… I hope you enjoyed this chapter of Persona 3 Hidden Bloopers! And, as a way to say I'm sorry over last chapter's link, here's some manga pages for Persona 3; it's translated! http://www . onemanga . com/Persona_3/1/00/ You may be you, but I'm BlueDragonFic!


	11. Nyx Annihilation Squad's Virus Debate

**This chapter is intended to be serious! If you expected something hilarious then you "may" be wrong! This is to warn about a virus threat on April 1****st****. I decided to be a good samaritan and warn all of you out there, though it has shown on News sites and Scopes, I'm just making sure it gets noticed!**

* * *

The Nyx Annihilation Squad are sitting together late at night in the dorm with nothing to do.

Fuuka: Anyone heard of the Conflicker worm threat?

Fuuka asked as she typed away at her laptop.

Yukari: That threat? On April 1st? Sounds like a Y2K hoax.  
Fuuka: But Conflicker is a real worm, and this has been covered in the news.

Minato was half asleep as they continued talking, Koro-chan noting the string of drool dripping from his mouth. Akihiko then put his two cents in.

Akihiko: I think come April 1st the douchebag's gonna tell us all the threat itself was a hoax.  
Ken: If no one wants to take any risks with this then make sure the virus security has the latest update. If that's a check then you're safe.

Minato was already snoring lightly as the others continued their talk.

Junpei: I'm going with Akihiko on this. It's perfect to fake a threat and then fool everyone.  
Fuuka: You know; if a computer has Conflicker, PC repair shops often opt to format and reinstall infected system.  
Yukari: Ouch, now that's bad.

Everyone then turned to Minato. He started snoring loudly; even Messiah felt like jamming a couple of his coffins into his ears to stop the noise.

Junpei: Dude sounds like a jet engine on steroids…  
Koromaru: Woof!  
Aigis: Koromaru-san says that it's the Dark Hour right now, should we go to Tartarus?  
Koromaru: Whine!  
Akihiko: Hold on, we're going.

After shaking Minato to wake him up, Akihiko turned back to Aigis and Koromaru to see them and the others looking at the dorm entrance.

Akihiko: What the fu-!  
Nyx Avatar: NYX IS A FIRIN' HER LAZOR!  
Mitsuru: Wait! It's not even January 3-!  
Nyx: PWWAAAAH!!!

* * *

I hope you take the facts and possible outcomes of what may happen into consideration; the humor was to lighten the mood. This has been a mock Persona 3 Hidden Bloopers chapter; you may be you, but I'm BlueDragonFic!


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